Communicating Differently

Communication is such an interesting topic, yet it is not one I have thought much about—until this class. There are so many forms of communication, yet most people tend to think about the words that are spoken, but don’t think much about body language and other forms of non-verbal communication. I definitely communicate differently with different people—at different times. For instance, I may communicate with my colleagues at work in a professional, no nonsense way when we are at work, but become more relaxed and less “formal” when we are away from work. I don’t communicate with my younger children (11, 8, 8) the same way I communicate with my older children (28, 26, 22). When I am at work, I use a professional communication style with everyone I come in contact. However, when I am with my husband or other family members I use a more casual, laid back communication style. 

When I am speaking with a friend from Honduras I sometimes catch myself enunciating my words a little better. However, when my husband speaks to him he slows his words way down, raises his voice (as if he’s deaf), and uses choppy sentences and lots of gestures.

Three strategies I can use to help me communicate more effectively are to actively listen.  I can keep from forming my response prematurely by actively listening to the speaker. I think too often we focus on how we will respond to what the speaker is saying before he or she finishes their sentence and often miss valuable information and cues. Applying the Platinum rule is a great strategy for communicating effectively. By taking the time to think about how the person would want to be treated, I can take my own feelings and emotions out of the conversation and focus on the needs of the other person. I will definitely pay more attention to what my body language and other non-verbal communication is saying, and try to ensure that my verbal and non-verbal communication match.

Observing Without Sound

This week's blog assignment was very fun and interesting--even if my husband and children did think I had lost my mind by sitting in the living room staring at the television with no sound.

I found a sitcom that I had not seen in the past--The Hart of Dixie. In the opening scene a young woman is sitting at a table in a restaurant with dark shades and looked like she was asleep. I assumed she was most likely hung over. An attractive server walked over and she jumped, they exchanged some words and I could tell by the look on her face that she was not interested in him, however, his body language and facial expressions totally gave away his infatuation with her.

A few minutes later a young girl walks into an office where an older man was having a conversation with a woman. Judging by her face and the way she twirled around I made the assumption that she had purchased a new dress and was showing it off, with this assumption, I made another assumption--that the older man must be her father. A moment later another young lady bursts through the door and looks incredibly angry. She tugs at the dress and makes some hand gestures. I assume this must be the girl's older sister and the younger sister had gotten into her closet and taken one of her clothes. The younger girl gets an angry look on her face, stomps her foot and turns and runs out the door.

The camera pans into an adjoining room where we find the girl from the restaurant sitting in a chair looking at a magazine. The older man walks over and they have a conversation, she rolls her eyes a couple of times and makes a couple of gestures and grabs a piece of paper from the man. I was uncertain as to what the conversation could have been about, but got the impression she was not happy about whatever was on the paper.

The next scene she arrives at the home of another man who is preparing what looks like Martini's or Margaritas. The man has a smile on his face as they are talking, however, he doesn't seem to be willing to do what the girl is asking. The server from earlier in the day walks through the door and the first man makes a face and gestures with his eyes as if to say, "No, don't say anything". The girl grabs a set of keys and leaves.

Next, I see her driving down a dark, country road. It looks like she is having difficulties with her GPS,  when she looks up she sees a man in the middle of the road. She stops the car and jumps out, but doesn't seem to be able to find the man. She enters into a restaurant and is talking to a woman and a man when the camera pans to the wall and the look on her face is one of surprise as she points out a picture of a man on the wall--the picture is on "the wall the town's dead heroes".

As the show goes on I see the "dead man" make his presence around her several times. But, no one else seems to see the "dead man". Also, at one point a couple of teenagers bring another passed out teenager to the home of the girl. The next scene shows her in an office building with the girl who was angry earlier in the day. I interpreted that encounter as her caring for the drunk girl and the angry girl coming to see what happened. However, the look on the angry girl's face was not one of gratitude.
Toward the end of the show, Zoe finds the man in the woods and he has a huge wound in his leg. She doctors the wound and has a relaxed conversation with the man, however I cannot decipher what they are talking about.

When I watched the show with sound I realized that the girl (Zoe) was not drunk at the restaurant, she just had not been getting sleep and was extremely tired. I was correct in my assumption that the server was smitten with Zoe and that Zoe had no love interest in him whatsoever, she viewed him as an annoying nuisance.

I was also correct in my assumption about the man in the office being the girl's (Magnolia) father and her showing him her new dress, however, the dress did not belong to the older sister (Lemon), as I had assumed without sound. Lemon disapproved of how much skin showed in the dress and she was letting her dissatisfaction be known. The father (Brick) sided with Lemon, which made Magnolia very angry and she stomped her foot and ran out of the building.

Turns out Zoe Hart is a doctor (as is Brick), Brick had promised another doctor to look after a patient who was about to deliver a baby-but the patient was not dilating fast enough for Brick's satisfaction as he wanted to be at a football game. He was preparing to induce labor to be more favorable for his schedule. Zoe was not going to have Brick inducing labor if it was not medically necessary so she agreed to take care of the patient--which is what Brick was hoping for as he handed her the address. Zoe's body language and her eye rolling made me assume she was not happy with Brick when the show was silent. However, with the sound on I was able to confirm that she was not happy with him and did not agree at all with his decision to induce labor just to conform to his personal schedule.

When she was at the other man's house she was asking for a ride to the home of the pregnant woman, but was told by the man that he had something important he needed to do, but she could borrow his car, at which time the server walked through the door with a couple six packs of beer--asking Zoe if she was there to watch the woman's volleyball game. I was correct about the other man shaking his head and making eye gestures as if to say, "Shhhh, don't say anything!! I was also correct about her having issues with GPS and seeing a man, but not being able to find him. Back at the restaurant she is told that the man had died about a year ago and that she had to have seen a ghost. He pops up from time-to-time and only Zoe sees him.

When the teenagers arrived at the house it was obvious the girl was passed out. What I was able to discern with sound is that the girl was Magnolia and she had drank too much fruit punch with vodka. Zoe takes her to the doctor office and calls Lemon. Lemon comes in and though she does thank Zoe for taking care of her sister, she is not happy to be in the position where she is being thankful to Zoe.....there seems to be some tension between the two, however I was never able to figure out what the root of their problem may be.

As the show progresses I learn that Lemon and Magnolia's mom had left many years ago and Lemon had stepped into the mother role, but she was about to get married and move away from the family home. Apparently, this was affecting Magnolia negatively-this is not something I picked up with the sound turned off.
To my surprise I learned that the man Zoe thought she hit had faked his own death after saving someone from a burning building. I learned the reason he had faked his death was because he wanted his family (his son especially) to be proud of him, because prior to him saving a person's life he had been the town drunk and made a lot of bad choices. He felt if others thought he died while saving a person's life then he would be a hero and his family could be proud.

I feel like I did a fairly good job at reading people's body language and other forms of non-verbal communication.

By doing this assignment I realized it is important to pay attention to not only the words people speak, but also pay attention to non-verbal communication and cues as well. By doing this a person is able to communicate effectively.

Communication

This may not be the type of communicator Dr. Parrish is asking us to discuss, however, I felt the communicator was extremely effective and he was the first that came to my mind.

The text tells us that one of the most important functions of communication is the ability to influence people. I attended a luncheon earlier this week where Mike Ditka was supposed to deliver the keynote address. However, due to weather he was unable to attend the event. At the last minute, Texas Representative Scott Turner was asked to stand in for Mr. Ditka. Representative Turner took the stage and proceeded to captivate the audience with a story about his life as a young man. Mr. Turner took the stage and was poised, well spoken and connected to his audience.
He looked around the room--not focusing on just one area of the audience. He effectively used hand gestures to emphasize his speech. He smiled a lot and laughed at himself. He connected to the audience by discussing the NFL, his mama and a good work ethic. Mr. Turner was humble, yet direct. He called the audience to action--told them they need not be complacent but instead be vocal and active in order to make a difference.

I have added a link to this blog so anyone interested in viewing the speech can do so.

http://youtu.be/5q7gXITSSCU

I will add the communication skills of a personal friend:

When I think of someone I know personally who has good communication skills I also think of a very good friend of mine (Pam Masters) who works for a non-profit organization. She is one who will look you in the eye when she talks to you. She does not get emotionally charged, even when an issue completely infuriates her. She has a quiet voice, yet has the ability to get her message across to any audience whether it be one-on-one, a small group or speaking to an audience of thousands. She is not one to talk over another person, she allows the back-and-forth exchange in conversations. She does not get distracted by things going on around her when she is in a conversation-nor will she stop you mid-sentence to answer a phone call or a text message. Most of all Pam is a great listener who is genuinely interested in what others have to say.

I would like to have the ability to not let emotions come to the surface when I am in a conversation, and to not allow outside distractions distract me from conversations. It irritates me when I am speaking with someone and they are looking around at everything going on in the room. I try very hard not to let these things catch my attention and distract me when I am talking with someone, but have found myself doing exactly what irritates me!!