As a child it was unfortunate for myself that I did not have access to a loving web of support. Dr. Kien has advised me to interview someone and use their web. I have used the director at my center, Josh.
Josh's mother, Cynthia Johnson-
Growing up I think we had a very unique relationship. We had our mom son moments and as I got older I realized she was doing the best she could to prepare me for the "real world". She taught me a lot about being perceived by the world. She wanted me to understand the value of not being labeled or grouped in a pack. She definitely taught me the value of hard work and working hard for the things that I want in life. She has taught me how to be a man with morals and values and to never settle. My mom made me feel special by encouraging me in everything I did growing up. She made me feel like there was not anything that I couldn’t accomplish in life if I worked hard enough. My mom to this day is very down to earth and light hearted and is always willing to help me when in a bind. She still encourages me to go for the things that I want and don’t stop until I get them. I thank my mom every day for making all the right choices and saying the right things and giving me those talks when I needed them. I look back and I appreciate everything she has done for me and continues to do for me.
Andrew Richardson – Uncle
This is by far my favorite uncle. He is an amazing man. To this day he still hugs me like he has for the last 30 years. He is a very emotion driven person that embodies the phrase “hard working man” He has started his own business that is very successful. It was at his house that we spent most summers where he taught us how to be tough and not take crap from anyone no matter how big. I think that has stuck with me. No obstacle is too large for me to conquer; and I think that is how he has lived his life. He has always been a provider in every sense of the word, working three jobs at times just to make ends meet. He was and still is the king of his castle but treats his wife like a queen. He has always had open doors if we ever needed anything; and treats me like one of his own children. To this day I look forward to seeing him whenever we do visit and we always find time for me and him just to get away and catch up on life.
Charlie Donald- My best friends Mom (2nd Mom)
This lady is amazing she can do just about anything she puts her mind to. Growing up she was always that fun mom that would take us places and do things with us. She, I would say, almost over cared if there is a such thing (there isn’t by the way). She is very creative and loves to decorate (hence why I am such a great decorator) She has taken me in on several occasions and has treated me like I was one of her own children. She has opened my eyes to the value of family and being there when you are needed. She has also taught me what it means to share things. She still calls and will check up on me and I still find time to go over and just have a movie night and just hang out.
Josh is a very outgoing individual who is very confident in himself.
As a child I grew up in a home with a single, very bitter mother. She constantly belittled and ridiculed her children. Our extended families were nearly non-existent. We would see them mostly at holidays, but my mother's children were virtually invisible. Teachers, Girl Scout leaders and the like always seemed to appreciate my cooperative, quiet demeanor and never stepped up with attention or support.
I have grown up to be quiet, shy and timid with a very low self-esteem. I do not do well in new situations or in groups of people. I am very unsure of myself and always second guess myself.
I think the difference between the way Josh and I were raised and how we turned out is a direct reflection on the way we were raised; and the differences of having a loving, supportive childhood web and not having a web at all.
4 comments:
Crystal, I am so sorry that you did not have anyone to offer you love and support as a child. Every child should have someone to offer unconditional love. I enjoyed reading about Josh and he was very lucky to have such positive role models. Although I did have love and support in my childhood, I also had a lot of pain and abuse and it has been a struggle to get past the bad memories. I hope that you have healed from your unfortunate experiences.
Monette
Crystal, I am very moved by your post for the childhood web. I am sorry that you had a rough childhood, but the more that I learn about you, the more that I realize that you have actually grown up to be quite a strong woman who just doesn't give herself enough credit. You seem to be a very self-driven woman and should be proud of the accomplishments that you have made in your life!
It sounds like Josh might have also grown up in a challenging household, but he did have those few individuals in his life that truly reached out to him to guide him through life. It is good to hear that these individuals are still active in his life, even though he is now an adult.
Thank you for sharing both childhood backgrounds with us!
Tiffany
Thanks for your kind words. I am self-driven (I have great intentions), but never very "sure" of myself and I tend to second guess everything I do. I strive to do the best I can do, but often feel I am lacking. It is something I am very aware of, but just don't seem to be able to overcome..... I always hear my mother in my head saying, "you'll never amount to anything".
Crystal I can understand where you are coming from in regards to Charlie Donald. I have a few friends whose mother's were the ones I look to when my mother was not around because she was either working long hours or she was in class studying to be a nurse.
These women took me in their home and treated me like a daughter. They understood that my mother was not available at the time that I needed her and they made sure I received that love.
I actually was able to reach out to one mother a few weeks ago when I was going through some things. She was available to talk to and opened her home to me when I need a space to breathe.
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